Day 14 – the continuing contradictions of Carol Todd

Note: Day 14’s posts might be boring.  I think I might have dwelt too long on Mrs Todd, so you will have to excuse me. You might want to leave it, and skip to Day 15 (tomorrow), when I will probably sum up what I say in today’s posts in one paragraph.

A couple of quotes that Carol Todd uses about herself:

‘Well Amanda …I just want to say you have an amazing mom.’

‘I’ve gotten the privilege to speak with Carol Todd (Amanda Todd’s mother) , she is a beautiful person.’

‘She is the most amazing woman I think I have ever met’

‘Her mom Carol Todd! The most sweetest adult on the earth and the most strongest.’

Well – what can I say? Modesty personified!

But a condemning quote about Amanda (from someone else to Mrs Todd): ‘And with how many views now she has on that video she made about her life. I watch it over and over. She always did want to become popular and famous. I do think she reached her goal with becoming famous as I’m in Alberta everyone knows about her!’ Did Mrs Todd also desire fame for her daughter – at any cost?

A quote I have used before, but it’s interesting:

‘As a parent, I am usually on call to my kids 24/7.  It’s that same story whereby if …. your kid goes out and drinks and gets absolutely drunk. What do we say to them  … ‘If you ever have a problem. call and we will pick you up no matter what time’.  I can honestly say that Amanda did call in her tickets.  And when I groaned in my sleep, I always heard ‘But mom, you said that we could always call no matter what’.  Well, I guess those were the magic words that make you crawl out of bed in your pj’s, grab a coat and get into your car to wherever you should end up.  Yes, one night I ended up in the catacombs on Surrey to pick up Amanda and a friend.  The story that night was ‘We met some boys at the mall and then ended up in Surrey and now there are no buses’.  Never mind that 152nd and 78th is a long way from Port Coquitlam or Maple Ridge.  That was definitely an OMG and a 4 letter night.  Hmmm…’

Let’s look closely. ‘your kid goes out and drinks and gets absolutely drunk’ Is this Amanda? Aged 14-15? ‘What do we say to them?’ how about – ‘What the f*** do you think you’re doing, you’re grounded!’ No – just let them do it. Out with boys in the back of beyond at God knows what time? Was she 12? 13? Things are becoming clearer about how Amanda could have become so wayward.

Carol Todd’s comments seem to get more odd.  I thinks she soon begins to realise that the story is running out of steam. The initial tsunami is over. People are getting tired of it, and more and more people are becoming critical and sceptical.

She starts to refer to her fans as the ‘Snowflake Elves’. Slightly crazy. We have the suggestion of the ‘Amanda Todd Cookbook’, pink Starbucks cups – really quite sad efforts to maintain the Amanda Todd brand. But really, she knows it’s ending. Amanda has lost her publicity power. In a way, it’s quite sad, but it’s obvious. The huge Facebook responses seldom get followed up by any actions. The most that millions of people want to do is simply ‘like’ a page, maybe leaving a comment. The vast majority move on after a few weeks. This was evident in the ‘Snowflake Walk’. Considering the publicity, it was hardly a show-stopper. And remember – huge numbers of the Amanda fans were from other countries. Even Carol is getting bored with it.

Carol holds on to the thought that things might turn into some sort of huge Amanda Todd movement. But she’s clutching at straws. The media frenzy has eased off. She’s no longer front page news.

So we’re into January, 2013, and things are beginning to show. By this time, things are beginning to filter through. ‘In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would be having to think of my daughter’s life in the past tense or even be defending her and myself on the internet with trolls, evil thinking people that I know and don’t know and even the thoughts of people that I do know.’ News is getting back to her. The game’s up, really.

Another quote from Mrs Todd: ‘If Amanda had overcome her sadness, this would have been the first Christmas in 3 years that she would have spent with me.’ Does anyone find this odd? I put ‘contradictions’ in the title of today’s posts, and here is a typical one. Just where was Carol Todd in the other three years? In most cases of separation from children, the least you do is have an ‘every other Christmas’ agreement. Don’t you? Or the kid spends the morning with one parent, the afternoon with the other. Amanda lived quite close over these three years. But for THREE years? Just plain odd.

‘The one big fear over the two week Christmas/New Years holiday was that the world might forget about Amanda Todd.’ Mrs Todd is desperate to keep her daughter in the news. She becomes preoccupied – not with how much money is coming in for donations, not with anti-bullying, but ‘Each day, I probably get at least 6 new followers on Twitter.’ She is preoccupied with HER fame, HER followers on Twitter. Because, as we know, Mrs Todd is the world expert on raising children.

Mid-January, Mrs Todd know that the story is losing appeal. So she goes back over what happened since October 10th.

On the day of her daughter’s suicide, with all the trauma – she finds time for a blog entry. I ask you. Seriously? I doubt it. She’s making it up as she goes along.

Mrs Todd appears to refer to some sort of funeral service, but it’s difficult to work out what she is actually saying. It gets a tiny mention. October 27th.

‘Day 17 (October 27) – Rave. I did it. I read the words I had written to Amanda at her service. I think I did okay. People clapped at the end. After letting the last guest go home from having people over at the house, I am exhausted. Until tmrw, good nite my friends.’

That is it. No use of the word funeral. Not much said at all. Too little. The next day she refers to it as ‘the private memorial service’. It’s too clinical. Bearing in mind that this was a woman who was prepared to have a huge memorial service broadcast live from a theatre, she barely mentions the real funeral. Of course, I find this to be evidence that it never happened. On another level, I still think that something is being covered up here – no mention of a church implies that she was given a different type of send-off – one that doesn’t fit in with the ‘angel in Heaven’ routine. I am puzzled by all this.

We get this quote:

‘Then I have heard the question asked, ‘Have you talked to your parents?’ And the answer is usually ‘No’. That is when I have to scratch my head and wonder why.

Coming from a relationship with my daughter which she told me 90% of what was going on in her life. The lost 10% were thinks she knew I would disagree with. I was unconditional. I didn’t overreact or underreact in front of her.

The ability to do this came from many hours of counselling and it worked. My daughter and I were the closest we had ever been during the final year of her short life. My words of wisdom to kids and parents would be to ‘forge and work at a relationship where understanding is present’.’

I just can’t believe this. It’s tosh. 90% of what was going on? What a joke. Teen kids tell their parents about 1% of what they do, and mostly that is what the parents want to here. If Amanda DID tell her mother 90%, then why on earth did Mrs Todd not do something? It’s delusional. ‘Hello mum. Today, I had a drink, smoked some weed until I was off my head, had sex’. No, it’s a joke. But it’s worth bearing in mind, especially with regards to what else Mrs Todd says.

This will continue in the next post.

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