From Carol Todd’s blog entry on February 18th, 2013, and from earlier blog entries, it is clear that Mrs Todd never dealt with her daughter’s drink and drug problems.
Of course, this is shocking. And it is very difficult to come to terms with. We are led to believe that Mrs Todd isn’t a stupid person. She has been working with children for years, and appears to be educated. So why did she fail to deal with the issues?
I have a feeling I know the answer. It boils down to simply a handful of reasons, if that. At the core is laziness. It is just so much easier NOT to deal with important things about raising a child. I’ve seen so many excuses put forward by lazy parents to justify themselves – from pretending to want to give their children freedom (when really they mean that they can’t be bothered to set and enforce boundaries) to a sort of surrender attitude – ‘Just what can I do?’ – when they know full well what they can do – get educated, find things out, and make an effort.
I can also see, in modern families, a strange development. I don’t think it’s new, by any means, but I believe it’s becoming more prevalent. It’s this thing where some parents seem to desperately want to be their kid’s friend. You can see it in the way that some mothers dress like their daughters. I find it all a bit weird. But it leads to more dangers. Parents who want to seem ‘cool’ won’t want to tell their kids off. They are too reliant on the love they get from their children, and become fearful of losing it. So rather than punish, or chastise, or plain sit down and talk to their children in a parent to child fashion, and thus risk disapproval, they would rather just ignore problems. I see this a lot in divorced parents. Neither parent wants to ‘lose’ their child’s affection, so they just act like idiots most of the time. Why in divorced parents more than married couples? Because the child has become THE source of love and affection in the parents’ lives. And thus the child develops an odd relationship with the parents. And I think that’s what happened here.
Just as an aside: in one of Amanda’s online manifestations, she called herself ‘foreverdaddysgirl’. Cute or creepy? You decide.
So I believe that Amanda’s parents were simply guilty of laziness and the desire to keep in their daughter’s good books too much. And, of course, stupidity. However – enough of all that. I did say that this blog would try to be more educational. Yesterday, I dealt with the problems of marijuana, so today it’s alcohol.
As usual, the amount of information available online concerning the problems surrounding drink and depression and drink and teen problems is huge. So Amanda’s parents’ inability to deal with the problem is inexcusable. Here are links to various sites:
Depression and alcohol:
Children and alcohol:
Really, it’s quite depressing that the Todd family allowed Amanda to do so many wrong things. In less than 10 minutes, I managed to find out the above information. But surely – isn’t there some sort of innate understanding that allowing a vulnerable child to freely indulge in drink and drugs might not be wise? At times, I truly despair.
I will leave on much more positive note. Brighton – my favourite place – is where I live. It’s known – to those of you who are not familiar with the UK – as one of the hippest places on the planet. And I have to commend the council on so many of their brilliant initiatives, one of which is shown in the link at the end of this post. But beyond that, I have to give a big heap of praise to being British. In all my research, it really does appear that not only do us Brits seem to have a much, much better sense of what goes on in the world around us, but we lead the field when it comes to fantastic institutions like the Samaritans, ChildLine, the NHS and so much more.
So today – I’m proud to be British. And Brightonian!