Cyber self-harm


From the article:

Parents also have to face up to what is going on and not just blame the internet, says Scott Freeman, founder of cyberbullying charity, the Cybersmile Foundation. He says the charity has not collated official figures but anecdotal evidence shows an increasing number of people getting in contact about self-cyberbullying.

“The internet is the new neighbourhood, the new playground,” he says. “We equip our kids to play safely in the street, we now have to teach them how to be safe online. Parents can no longer say ‘I don’t understand the internet’ and relinquish responsibility.”

2 thoughts on “Cyber self-harm

  1. This is very good, Philip. I think there should be more research into this phenomenon, and it should be considered as a possibility in every cyber bullying case, including those leading to suicide, such as Hannah Smith. I would say most parents don’t have a clue about it. I would imagine it can be attention seeking on the low end of a continuum, to a serious cry for help which could lead to suicide, on the high end of the continuum of reasons why. I shared this on my page, and gave you credit.

    • Thanks for the comment. This aspect of bullying is the most difficult for people to grasp, and it just adds to the complexities of it all. When I started this blog, I wanted it to be far more a discussion of all the aspects, but I soon realised that people don’t like to sit and ponder – they like sensationalist nonsense that supports their own beliefs.
      I’ve encountered it first-hand – girls who will not get away from Ask,even when it’s doing them damage; girls who actually like the fact that they are ‘important’ enough to warrant hate pages on Facebook; girls who put videos of themselves getting off their heads on Keek, or tell perfect strangers intimate secrets. But every time, with a few exceptions, I got attack after attack if I ever tried to bring these things to the fore. Why? Because people REFUSE to believe that all this is going on. They want to maintain their fairy-dairy land in which all pretty girls are innocent, that webcams are for singing and chatting, and in which all children are incapable of breaking the law, and none of them can be mentally unbalanced enough to create their own online self-harming world.
      I know that people think I have been hard on parents, but that is because I have found it to be the one thing that every story has in common. With maybe the exception of the Daniel Perry case, and in cases where it concerns things like attitudes to being gay, the overwhelming evidence is – and I’m sticking my neck out here in saying that I am absolutely certain, as I don’t like giving just my opinion – but the overwhelming evidence is that there are direct links to parental problems. Sometimes these are straightforward – parents have money problems, are too tired after work and so on – but the majority are divorced/getting divorced at times when their kids are emotionally unstable, they let their kids get away with things to compensate and to get ‘love’ or to play off the kids’ emotions (dad is strict, but mommy is cool), they are too busy thinking about themselves to bother that the kid has no-one to turn to, they are just basically useless.
      I’ve watched this closely. It’s not the product of a ‘I hate parents’ thing – it’s based purely on observation, and readers will know how closely I observe. Even in cases where it appears that the parents could have done nothing, it becomes obvious that the parents simply weren’t in tune with their kids – they didn’t pick up on warning signs. Even in stories where parents have gone to schools to complain, or, as in the Todd case, done what they think is right, the huge problem has been one of bad parenting. Not purposefully bad, but misguidedly bad. Kids need stability (OK that’s no big Nobel Prize revelation) and that can be provided in all sorts of parental situations. They don’t necessarily need two parents, they don’t necessarily need all the old-fashioned nuclear family stuff, but they DO need to know that the world around them is relatively safe and they have someone who will provide guidance and care – not some dumbass who allows them to smoke weed and drink. Many of the kids problems stem from confusion and anxiety – if their parents are emotionally unstable, then it’s very likely they will also be much the same.
      OK – I’ve ranted a bit. But until people start to look at all this without all the prejudices and misconceptions, we will get nowhere.
      Look at the new Law in Canada. Laughable. No attempt to punish sites like cameracaptures, no mention of Omegle, no drive to make it much more difficult for kids to see porn, just a load of old bollocks about ‘intimate images’ and the underlying view that this is still all a problem about ‘older men’. What a joke! I will stick my neck out again and say that none of the people in the Todd story were old men. And don’t get me started about the Parsons case – yet again, people find the truth unpalatable. Dysfunctional family? Tick. Girl allowed to do whatever she wanted? Tick. Girl who may have played a much more different part in the story? Tick. Idiotic teens? Tick. A long enough time between the event and the conclusion to have sorted things out? Tick. Dad who likes a bit of fame and attention, having done fuck all before? Tick.
      Urge to blame everyone else BUT parenting? Tick. Solution nothing to do with the real problem? Tick. Desire to punish people two years later for something they might or might not have done? Tick.
      Ooooh, I get so annoyed.
      Ta ta for now.

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