20th December

Not a very imaginative title for today’s post.

First, another article from the Guardian.


‘So it seems strange that parents, while focusing so intently on school, seem often to ignore a much cheaper way of improving their children’s educational lot. Because the more stable a home life children have, the better they will be able to concentrate at school, the better behaved they will be in school, and the better grades they will have on leaving school.’

‘According to a whole pile of research stretching back across many decades, children tend to do best when they’re raised in a stable family.’

And another very sad article:


Readers can guess why I featured these articles. The first one verifies my constant nagging about stability at home. It’s astonishing that, overlooking tons of evidence, failed parents still wonder why their kids go batshit crazy.

I have also criticised the attitude that the Todds had towards Amanda’s drug abuse. The second article shows the perils of it all. I still can’t quite fathom why the parents who get most publicity are the ones who act AFTER a tragedy. Maybe it’s because the story of a parent who raised a kid who doesn’t take drugs, who does well, and succeeds in life is boring. Or maybe it’s because there’s comfort in knowing that if you’re a parent who has completely fucked it up, there’s plenty more like you out there.


2 thoughts on “20th December

  1. You amended your post. I thought the original was better.

    Parents nowadays are like needy wee kids themselves – they need affection. The world says no… so they look to their kids for emotional support. They spoil their kids – the most neglectful act possible. It sickens me. People are selfish. People are pathetic. people lie & cheat & nothing will ever change.

  2. Oh dear. A somewhat glum comment. Although I might rant about the world, there is hope. It’s just that the good people get ignored, or have to be something like Malala Yousafzai to get attention.
    I know that this blog has changed things for a tiny tiny amount of people, and it has made people think a bit about webcams and wayward children. And I hope that maybe those who learned from the blog will spread the word, and that, in a very small way, maybe have helped make the world a teensy bit better.
    Things do change, but it happens slowly. The end of apartheid in South Africa took a long time and huge amounts of effort, as did the end of slavery. We still have stupid wars, but that’s down to corruption, greed and evil politicians (just in case – Bush, Blair, Alastair Campbell, the arms manufacturers). And it takes intelligence and thought – not the wild rantings of the hysterical Todd nutcases. In my opinion, Amanda’s fate was sealed by stupidity, but I have said enough about that. We need to open our eyes to all the foolishness that is around us, and those who see it need to try and stop it in some way.
    But believe me – it’s not as bad as you think. For every Amanda, there’s a hundred brave kids who makes it through. For every Carol Todd, there’s a hundred parents who work hard and bring up their child in the safety of a good family. For every Norm Todd, there’s a father who cares enough to realise that their child needs a certain amount of discipline.
    The media loves to portray an end-of-the-world, Hell-in-a-hand-cart vision of the world, and they play a big part in all this.
    But take it from me. There are lots of kind people out there. It’s just that most of them don’t spend their time blowing their own trumpets. Doctors, nurses, teachers, charity workers and (blow me down) even some religious folk. It’s just that doing something like saving someone from a heart attack on a daily basis, or listening to someone’s grief, or struggling to start a school in some God-forsaken country – well, it just doesn’t make the headlines.
    So – don’t be miserable over Christmas. Just thank God for all the good people in this world. I know I do.
    Happy Holidays!

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