Where’s the truth?

Just in case they fuss about copyright:

Buy Paula Todd’s new book ‘Extreme Mean’. It’s faultlessly accurate, which is why the advert for it says Amanda Todd was 16 when she died.

”I have nobody, I need someone. My name is Amanda Todd.’ Not long after she wrote this online, 16-year-old Amanda Todd killed herself, a victim of hateful and nonstop cyberbullying that followed her wherever she went. When Paula Todd (no relation) saw this, she decided to put her formidable investigative and legal skills to work and uncover what is at the dark heart of a phenomenon that is unfortunately making headlines all over the world.’ Basically – lol.

So. We have access to a bit more information about Amanda. This is a looooong post, so bugger off if you are a tl;dr person. If you’re not, be prepared to gasp at the strangeness of it all.

Readers may remember that a few months ago, Carol released a snippet of online conversation featuring abuse against Amanda. In her haste she released the name of one of the kids involved, but I won’t repeat it here. Well, we now have a fuller version. My conclusions? Varied as usual. I will make comments throughout, but it is difficult to really make out if this is true or not. Why do I say that? Simply because of the track record – the one photo that was a lie, the one-to-one on webcam that was a lie, and the edited/adulterated RCMP emails and messages all make one highly suspicious.

But let’s get on with it. The names are not real.

From (I guess) Spring 2012

Lisa: eww who would be fucked up enough to drink bleach why wouldn’t she just jump off a building or something and kill herself before she gets pregnant by xxxxx xxxxx and lays eggs that would literally be the spawn of satan

The origin of this entire thread is odd, but I will be looking more closely tomorrow. I just find it slightly disconcerting that this conversation should have been saved. Carol Todd says she found it in the ‘trash’ on a laptop, but that’s uncommon – Facebook deleted comments don’t go in the trash, so it follows that it might be a trashed screen cap or copy/paste. And we were led to believe that Amanda shared all this stuff with mom. So maybe something’s not right here.

I can assume that this comment probably is below a picture of Amanda chugging bleach. As to where this picture was, who knows? It comes from somebody Amanda knows, and again I’m guessing that it’s one of her old school mates.

However, for the time being I will just try to analyse the text. The writer knows that Amanda drank bleach. Good grief, were there no secrets? I suppose that the bleach drinking episode would have escaped on to the local gossip circuit like lightning, but my main guess is that Amanda probably broadcast it. Girls online seem to tell everyone every minute detail, but Amanda kept on falling into that Internet trap: if you go online with all your personal details, you can expect adoration and hatred in equal amounts. If a plea for sympathy such as ‘I drank bleach’ is published, it’s a perfect opportunity for the haters to assemble.

Whoever wrote this is, I believe, quite consumed by hate, but on the other hand she could just be the ringleader of a band of haters doing it more for some sort of popularity quest. As we see later, even a friend considers it to be over the top. What I find hard to comprehend is not just the viciousness of the remark, but why or how Amanda managed to evoke it. Most online abuse is simpler – ‘go kill yourself’, ‘you’re fat’, ‘your’e ugly’ and so on. Laying eggs that would be the spawn of satan is harsh.

The comments continue:

Zach: I dont know asker shes pree fucking dumb

OK. So just how dumb was Amanda? This is something that has puzzled me throughout this story. On one hand, she seems to be absolutely clueless when it comes to her actions online. Her behaviour at some stages does seem to be the product of some sort of mental problem. Yet we also see a side of Amanda that is pretty savvy. She certainly knows her way around a computer, has enough sense to make multiple identities for herself, and the famous video was a masterpiece of emotional manipulation. I just can’t work out why her peers found her so dumb and so worthy of hate – more so than many others.

Karee: u guys are ruthlessly ruthless

Someone who knows Lisa and Zach seems to be shocked by just how horrible these comments are.

Karee: but LOL

Why would Karee write ‘LOL’? OK – there’s a certain amount of peer pressure to join in, and I’m not quite sure where Karee’s thoughts really are.

Lisa: eww i wouldnt waste a second of my time talking to that

Zach: bhahahahahha Karee

Karee: u guys r still wasting your time on Amanda todd are u jokin seriously

OK. I have to look at this carefully. It is at this point that I begin to wonder if some fakery is entering into it. We know that Carol fudged the RCMP emails and the Tyler Boo messages, which makes it so damned difficult to trust stuff. My puzzle here is that the writer writes ‘Amanda todd’ and ‘seriously’.  Why ‘Amanda todd’ and not ‘her’? Why ‘seriously’ spelled properly, not ‘srsly’ or something similar? However, it’s irrelevant fo the time being.

Karee: this pics acctually so ruth. She drank bleach its nothing to make fun of her for, she drank it to commit suicide to get away from all u fucking kids making fun of her lol

Like I said, I guess these comments are accompanying a picture of Amanda drinking bleach. I’m also guessing that this picture might have been tagged.But I am STILL highly suspicious. If only there was something truthful to latch on to, but there isn’t. Amanda says in her video that she drank bleach, but because of the rest of the lies we have absolutely no guarantee that this is true. We can only assume. Even Carol and Norm don’t seem to mention it. A proper bleach drinking session would have been very damaging to the vocal chords, but we see videos of Amanda singing. I get the impression that the bleach drinking, if true, was not a suicide attempt – these types of things never are. It was a cry for help. This is why kids don’t respond too well, because, as the Lisa character says earlier, why not chuck yourself off a bridge? Kids are cruel, and it’s likely that Amanda never anticipated that she would get this response. I can have yet another guess – ‘Karee’ is a close friend of Amanda which would explain the ‘drank it to commit suicide’ phrase. It’s the kind of thing that someone torn between Amanda and general popularity might say.

Then we get this from Karee:

Karee: . . . i hate her but thats ruthless

I think this is just to keep in with the others. I don’t think Karee genuinely hates.

Lisa: we arent wasting our time on her we are wasting our time making fun of her hoping she sees it and kills herself

This is a really harsh statement. This Lisa really does seem to hate Amanda. But we are shafted by inconsistencies again. We cannot trust anything we see – all we can hope to do is draw together as many clues as possible. After the Hannah Smith scenario, we can’t even trust that the abuser isn’t Amanda, but I would venture that these people seem to know each other, so I don’t think Lisa is fake. Carol Todd knows the names, and if it was me I would release them. Or, if she’s reading this, send me the names and I’ll publish them. (Come on, you can get one of your foolish acolytes to do it).

Lisa: well i am

Karee: lol i love you but dude she already tried killin herself n shit

Karee: ur a bitchhhhhhhhhhh

Lisa is hardcore. But she’s obviously doing it for approval, which she sort of gets.

Karee: she moved away to get away from u guys, u guys keep following her life wtf obv u are wasting ur time on her, when shes not even beakin you you guys go out of ur way to post pictures n go on and on about her

This last comment sort of makes me suspicious again. What we notice about Carol’s evidence is that it is typed out. The Tyler Boo messages aren’t screen caps, they are transcripts. This just makes the evidence so untrustworthy. Again, you’ll have to believe me – I don’t go out of my way to see skulduggery, it’s simply because there has been so much of it.

The reason I am so suspicious of this is because the comment is too close to the September video story – ‘she moved away to get away from u guys, u guys keep following her life’. I’m just not sure that if Amanda had moved away, this person Lisa would have continued with the persecution. Kids seem to have a short span of being bothered. They might keep up a physical presence for some time, but I have to admit to being surprised by an ongoing campaign. And it still befuddles my brain like I said before – what would instil so much hatred into Lisa, and why Amanda?

Lisa: lol i dont care she neds to try harder shes so dumb she doesnt even know how to kill herself properly

This sort of comment is quite common. Cruel, but common.

Karee: LOL

Karee doesn’t seem fussed.

Karee: why dont u write idown proper ways n sent it to her in the mail

Hmmm….I’m guessing that these kids no longer have any contact with Amanda online. As stated above, Lisa says ‘I hope she sees this’ whereas she could have easily messaged her or commented on a profile or a page.

Lisa: i dont have her address i dont care enough this is just funny

Karee: u just dont care about everything eh

Lisa: anything*

At first I wondered what the Hell this next bit was on about, but of course it’s referring to the picture these comments are about.

Karee: i hate mixed drinks :p

Lisa: me too i prefer the splash less clorox plus over the walmart brand

Karee: does it splash less..

Lisa: no not at all

Karee: what the fuck does it mean

Lisa: it means it tastes better actually im not sure ask Amanda

Karee: ii dont have her on fb

Karee: or else i would


To a certain extent, these comments have just been an overture. It starts to gain momentum now, and gets far more disturbing. We get a comment from Zach. Again we can see this at least a couple of ways. It’s either just a kid being vile with random abuse, or a kid echoing the general opinion of Amanda. But this is the early showing of the ‘did it for attention’ accusations. It’s quite sad really. Given Amanda’s online life, her endless attention seeking, when the time comes for real attention it’s too late.

zach: She did it for attention n at least she clean inside of her body n got all the grease n jizz out

Somebody else joins the conversation with what would appear to be a sarcastic remark which quickly gets criticised.

Drake: hey guys not nice

Lisa: your not nce peace

Lisa: nice*

zach: Drake n ur one to talk ehh loool

Then another joins in with a comment about the picture.

Brad: Thats fuckin hilarious

In comes another commenter. This one describes Lisa as being pretty cool, so I guess Lisa must have some status. But it’s a complex statement, difficult to quantify. The ‘People making fun of her’ is a sort of out-of-place phrase. What precisely does it mean? Recent events weren’t about making fun, they were about her getting hit for the sex episode. That’s what the bleach was meant to be mainly about. So making fun doesn’t fit. We don’t know what ‘her situation’ means. The pics? The flashing? Her being dumb? The fight? Again I find this comment too false because it’s too close to using phrases from the September video –  ‘Kids all around the world…being bullied..not always for attention…like they have nobody anymore? …but really, she moved away because of all this, she was trying to forget about it. and now she’s starting to be happy again, and then you had to bring back her past’. Where did that all come from? It’s totally out of sync with the rest of the conversation. Who’s mentioned bringing back her past? And, if it IS true about bringing back the past, it kind of undermines parts of the Tyler Boo/Austin Collins shenanigans, because it implies Lisa and her cronies did it all (I did say way back that the cyberkillers were far more likely to be girls. They are ten times more vicious than guys can ever be when it comes to emotional destruction).

Angela: kay, Lisa, saying you want her to kill herself, People posting pictures and tagging her in it and laughing at her is a little to ruth and i agree with what Karee is saying. Like ya, Lisa your pretty cool, but saying that kind of shit doesn’t make you even more cool. The only reason why she “drank bleach” is because of this, People making fun of her. I’m sure if you went through her situation, you’d be doing some pretty ridiculous things as well. Kids all around the world do things like this when being bullied, not always for attention either, maybe they feel like they have nobody anymore? & i know alot of people who i bet you guys know to, who have tried stupid things or have been bullied. I don’t care if i’m being an “lg” right now, i’m just sticking up for her, because apparently all of you think it’s funny for someone to end their life at such a young age. & ya, i bet I sound pretty stupid, but really, she moved away because of all this, she was trying to forget about it. and now she’s starting to be happy again, and then you had to bring back her past, what if she pulls something even more stupid now? You guys will probably won’t care, but i’m sure her real friends and family will.

Note: is Angela Carol? Or a Todd person? Read through it again. It’s quite long. It has a different tone. ‘and now she’s starting to be happy again’ ‘you had to bring back her past’.

And now comes what is the most disturbing part of this thread. Disturbing because, if it’s true, Amanda was up to a lot of stuff long before the cops came; if untrue, then someone’s telling fibs.

Lisa: that was too much to read and no fucks are given because its Amanda todd, something like this will never happen to me because i will never go masturbate and flash a webcam when im like 12 and i will never go for guys with girlfriends and i will never fuck some skid on his sweater behind value village and i will never lie to and backstab my friends and if i want to comit suicide ill do it fast and painless and not as stupid

Okie dokie. There is something going on here. This one comment is spectacularly peculiar. We can gather that Amanda has a terrible reputation No fucks are given because it’s Amanda Todd. Can we believe that she was so widely and deeply hated? But never mind. It’s the next bit that is odd. This ENTIRE story revolves around either one picture being passed around, or even one video, and we have to assume from all the dates and evidence that it is the BlogTV December 2010 video, which was pretty harmless. BUT now we have a reference to masturbation as well as flashing. How the Hell did these kids know? Amanda’s bate activity is meant to be top secret. All the story concentrates on THAT picture/video, and blackmail regarding THAT picture/video. So how do these kids know about the other stuff? But it explains a lot. Carol likes to tell us that it was all relatively innocent, a flashing incident on BlogTV that was just one mistake blah blah blah. She has recently at least admitted more of the truth in the Fifth Estate documentary, but note that it still concentrates on that one-off flash. BUT if her peers were fully aware of what Amanda was really doing, it’s no wonder there was such a backlash.

However, what struck me about this statement is ‘when im like 12’.  This is, in fact, extraordinary, as it makes the entire story so much worse, and so much more convoluted, and it’s what makes me hellishly suspicious.

Let’s assume it all did begin when Amanda was 12. It’s what she says (or people believe she says) in her video. So that would be from November 2008-November 2009. That would give Amanda a stripping and flashing career of about three years. But like we have seen, none of the hullabaloo kicked off until December 2010, when Amanda was 14. This is very confusing. I could at a push place the story as going back to Amanda being 13 (the Bianca/Amanda flash) but however hard I try, I can’t place anything happening when Amanda was 12. We know that the BlogTV flash was December 2010 and the rather dull bate evidence is from 2011. So just what is going on?

Where would Lisa have got the age 12 from? I don’t understand that bit. What does make sense is that this comment was changed/edited, because the concept of Amanda being 12 only came on the scene at that point. For anyone with the slightest tech ability it would be possible to do some amount of jiggery-pokery to create a screen capture that looks credible.

Lisa also says ‘i will never lie to and backstab my friends‘. Interesting. This is probably much closer to the reason for hatred than anything else. Any female will tell you that betrayal is the mortal sin. I would lay money that Lisa is either the girl who hit her or (much more likely) a close friend who got double-crossed in some way. For girls (correct me if I’m wrong) to be betrayed by a close friend is the sort of thing that would justify eternal vengeance. Death would be a fitting punishment.

I tell you why I think this commentary is faked/edited. Firstly, it didn’t crop up until months after Amanda’s death, it cropped up in odd circumstances, and it doesn’t fit.  Some of the comments are too constructed, and it sounds too close to what all the other troll comments were saying AFTER the September video. Aged 12, masturbation videos, bullying – all stuff that only seemed to come to the fore later. I’m not saying this thread never existed – just that it’s been possibly added to or edited, in the same way that the RCMP email was misquoted and the Tyler Boo messages were selectively chosen to represent what the TV show wanted.

Angela: yeah, that’s pretty f–ked, but still . . . does this all have to be said on Facebook?

Lisa: baking cookies and cupcakes all day today who wants one i wouldnt mind going for a walk to deliver them :*

Then we get another commenter who this time tags Amanda in the comment so he knows her attention will be drawn to it. You can find out what dotch means. Unless it means ditch. I dunno. And it all seems to go on at Value Village.

CAL: Can you come to that dotch behind the value village and bring some windex or mr clean to wash it down? – Amanda Todd

Lisa: message me if you want one theres 12 vanilla rainbow cupcakes so first 12 get one . . .

Desiree: You’re an angel bb Lisa

By the way. Read ‘Lord of the Flies’.

I’ve found this all a bit confusing. If anyone could provide any other interpretations or add any insights, I would be grateful. What I’m most perplexed by is that for the most part I assumed the kids just knew about the flash video, but these comments would seem to show that knowledge of her other activities (masturbation) was widespread. Or not. I am at a loss to know what is really trustworthy.

I will return to this later in the week. Like I’ve said (twice already I think) none of this is straightforward. Carol Todd is hopeless at calming this story down. Every time she releases a piece of information that she thinks will prove one thing (in this case, that Amanda was cyberattacked) her evidence provokes a downside (in this case, just how much did everyone know about Amanda, or why are there inconsistencies in the text). This jigsaw is so bloody awkward to put together.

If I were Carol Todd, I would sit down and simply write the truth, the whole true story from beginning to end, no shit, no sugar. She complains that people are saying things like Amanda isn’t dead (coroner’s report info might help, or funeral details, just the name of a church or a crematorium), that Carol is a bad mother, that Amanda was up to all sorts. But this will keep happening all the time the story remains garbled and contradictory. Surely even Carol in her heart would like the final words to be said about her daughter. Christ, I’m pretty atheistic and non-spiritual, but even I have some subconscious belief that Amanda needs to be truly laid to rest, and that will only happen when the story is told in full and truthfully. There’s no shame in admitting that Amanda was mentally ill, out of control, whatever she was. There’s no shame in Carol admitting that she fucked up big time. Who doesn’t? But there is shame in dragging out a hotch potch of a story, full of lies, that only serves to eventually put Amanda through, in death, what she was desperately trying to avoid in life. Believe me – only a tiny handful of older people think that Amanda was an innocent role model; only impressionable and very young children see her as some sort of role model. I’ve said it a million times already. Let Amanda rest in peace.



5 thoughts on “Where’s the truth?

  1. “i will never fuck some skid on his sweater behind value village”

    Do WHAT? Where in the world did THAT come from?

    • Value Village? That’s exactly what I thought. It’s all kinda sordid. But like always, I’m torn. Was Amanda just your average promiscuous teen or just a hopelessly lost kid? I know people will say that Carol and Norm could probably do nothing, but there is a fine line between kids doing secret stuff and parental neglect. Why does Carol think that releasing this sort of stuff makes the situation any better? It just makes Amanda look less and less cute and innocent.

  2. well she did ‘bate’ in a dialogoo room for ~30 people, early 2010 iirc. albeit in semi-darkness and under covers.

    • God, the lack of definite stuff is confusing. 2010 would still make her 13, though, so still hard to get back to 12. Dialogoo crops up again. Surely this isn’t the grainy bedroom scene you’re talking about? Oh Lord. Her comment ‘I was a slut’ in December 2010 does have a certain world-weariness about it, as if she is an old-timer in the game. I would have been tempted to place all the action in 2010, ending in December, were it not for the RCMP saying there was new material in 2011. To a certain extent I can write off all the earlier stuff as bonkersness. What really I can’t understand is the continuation after the cops arrived. Before that – mistakes. After that – stupidity all round.

  3. might be, im not that familiar with her body of work. it was what cappers would call a ‘fail bate’, that much i remember.

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