When is the time to say ‘Stop’?

full rcmp

The picture above is from the ‘Sextortion of Amanda Todd’ showing the RCMP email sent to the Todds in October 2011. I’ve placed it here as proof that it exists. Read it. It says a lot.

There are times throughout this whole damned blog when I have been amused, there are times I have been angry, times I have been confused, times I have felt proud and times I have felt ashamed of myself for sinking to the same levels as the Todd supporters. However, if I’m feeling tired, as I am at the moment, I am more often filled with extreme sadness and despair.

If you study both Glen Canning and Carol Todd they have, essentially, gone mad. When tragedies occur, certain reactions may be excusable, even if not correct. If I had been Glen Canning, I would have come very close to getting a gun and killing the people I felt responsible. If I were Carol Todd, I would feel like going round to Amanda’s duplicitous friends and giving them the hiding of a lifetime. But for most people, after a while, sanity and morality prevails. Glen Canning and Carol Todd have become deranged monsters.

I won’t deal with Glen Canning here because, to a certain extent, he’s off-topic. But I will explain about Carol Todd.

When people have no self-control, it is up to others to talk to them and bring them back down to earth. Carol has found herself surrounded by lunatics and sycophants, there’s no one around to advise her to calm down, to keep her grounded. Therefore, it’s very easy for her to get carried away by her own sense of self-importance and righteousness, and this is what Carol Todd has done.

In most tragedies, a lot of people grieve in private. In a few rare instances, like with Stephen Lawrence, a parent’s grief can be turned into a force for good. The problem with the Amanda Todd story is that there has been a terrible downside – the proliferation of her pictures, her videos, vicious memes, shocking slurs on her memory, the lies, the vendettas – which has, in my opinion, been an incredible disgrace and could have been avoided.

Had the Amanda Todd story been true, had it been devoid of so many pitfalls, I would have hailed Carol Todd as a valiant speaker against the perils of the Internet. However, any sensible observer can put forward an argument that, overall, the story has created as many problems as it has solved. However, I will put that to one side for now, and tell you how I think Carol has gone too far, and why this should now just stop, if only for the sake of Amanda’s memory.

Time and again I try to place myself in the mind of Carol Todd, and time and time again I find that, in doing so, I disagree with her reactions more and more. If I had a daughter who I treasured, I would do everything in my power to protect her reputation. Carol seems to have built up her own illusion that her daughter was a perfect girl, her little Snowflake. For sure, every daughter is a precious Snowflake, most daughters are perfect in the eyes of a parent. If I had ever talked to my mother and my father, I’m sure that they would have said that I was the apple of their eye (just thought I would slip that in for people to see if they are paying attention).

However, in Carol’s blindness, she has refused to see that her daughter’s reputation has been sullied beyond reason, and it continues to be denigrated as time goes on. It’s time for someone close to her to tell her to draw a line. Each time there’s a ‘Light up Purple’, ten more pictures of bleach-chugging hit the Internet; each time there is a reference to ‘Princess Snowflake’, ten more pictures of a naked Amanda are photo-shopped; each time a school gets a visit from Carol, the Google searches for the flash pictures double. I can see it on my blog stats. For a while I wondered why there were spikes in interest. It happened each time there was a bit of news. For those who may not know about WordPress, it tells you the searches that are most common: ‘Amanda Todd flash’, ‘Amanda Todd boobs’, ‘Amanda Todd uncensored’, ‘Amanda Todd video’ and a hundred variations on that theme. That’s why Amanda trended so highly in 2012, the trend that Carol seemed so rock-star proud about. Not because of sympathy and interest – just boobs and flashing.

Why do I feel more upset by this now? Do I not feel this all the time? Well, for sure, way back I expressed my concern about the ongoing attacks on Amanda caused by the neverending publicity. But things have altered. Recently, as Carol has realised that the fairy story of her innocent daughter has fallen apart, she seems to be allowing more and more salacious details to be published. My belief is that she is doing this for attention, to keep her infernal bandwagon rolling, but that’s open to debate, though not much.

A few months ago Carol supported the documentary from the Fifth Estate. It was the worst example of titillation masquerading as information. Didn’t anyone notice the naughty pics of girls slung in gratuitously? I thought it odd – most of the pics were child-porn according to Canadian rules, but hey, it was TV so who cares? All done in the best possible taste.

In that documentary Carol Todd essentially allowed Amanda’s image to be used for sensationalism. At the time, there was maybe an excuse for it. These things have to be seen, Carol is bringing attention to all this, how terrible, how sad.  However, the after effect was that most people – if they didn’t already know – found out that the story wasn’t quite the one they had become used to. It replaced the ‘one-photo in a one-to-one on webcam’ myth with a new ‘several videos in crowded chatrooms’ story. Sainthood to sluthood. But still it could be excused.

But the excuses are now exhausted. Carol Todd has gone beyond the limit, and further in to the area of disgraceful lack of parental thought (the crime I accuse her of all the time).

All I do is ask you this:

As a parent, a brother, as any human being, would you want the world to read this about your child, your sibling, your friend?

‘that was too much to read and no fucks are given because its Amanda todd, something like this will never happen to me because i will never go masturbate and flash a webcam when im like 12 and i will never go for guys with girlfriends and i will never fuck some skid on his sweater behind value village and i will never lie to and backstab my friends and if i want to comit suicide ill do it fast and painless and not as stupid’

This comment shames the girl who wrote it, yet it doubly shames Amanda. Is this what Carol wants? Does she not see that?

There are things that no person should ever have to read about their child. And there are things that no parent should allow people to read about their child. Yet Carol not only read this, she has allowed it to be published in a book solely for publicity and shock value under the pretence of some sort of educational purpose. Paula Todd’s book is completely designed to appeal to the tabloid mentality.

I find it distasteful. I find it disturbing. Enough is enough. But for the obsessed Carol it will go on at any cost. But I’m telling you Carol – stop! You have gone too far. Please God, let your poor maligned daughter’s memory fade from the harsh world of the Internet. If you have any soul, any decency, let her rest in peace.


2 thoughts on “When is the time to say ‘Stop’?

  1. im sure the woman grieves about the loss of her child in her own special way. i cant even imagine how it would feel, this tragedy happening to me. (even if i were a sucky parent). i probably would hang myself, idk. but she also comes across as a pretty vile human being. and you nail the whole media thing. why would she want to be part of that? in the end all of this is highly confusing. i can relate so much, and sometimes it scares me. i talked to a mother like carol, many times. literally asking her: ‘just take her cam and internet’. this same woman threatened to shoot herself in front of her then 15 year old kid. seriously the child will live with no phone and laptop. let her throw tantrums. youre an adult. nobody is innocent. problems are sometimes really easily solved. and tragedies can be avoided. what a flippin mess

  2. Sad indeed. Carol Todd’s hunger for fame has affected her ability to think straight.
    “I’m nobody! Who are you?
    Are you nobody, too?
    Then there ’s a pair of us—don’t tell!
    They ’d banish us, you know.

    How dreary to be somebody!
    How public, like a frog
    To tell your name the livelong day
    To an admiring bog!”
    ― Emily Dickinson, The Complete Poems

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