Amanda Todd wasn’t on her own

aandb

biancaandamanda2

As the Coban trial continues, it gets more shocking. Apparently he had 204,000 porn pics on his hard drive, he was in trouble with the Grijze Wolven. As most of it is in Dutch it’s a pain to work out the details. Add in the thing about 7 gay Australians and it starts getting too weird.

Meanwhile I’ve reissued these pics from the catalogue. The clip is actually far worse than this can show and makes the BlogTV episode look mild. It’s really this clip that puzzles me most as it’s so far away from the ‘it was a brief flash’ storyline and involves another kid who was very much part of Amanda’s scene but never gets a mention.

Because of this clip, Amanda’s BlogTV shows and so on, it’s tough to match the current narrative of one action followed by years of torment.

Just in case anyone thinks this isn’t Amanda, then OK, you’re entitled to that. Just ask Carol Todd though – she’ll remember that Amanda had a pair of trousers (or ‘pants’ as they are called in the USA) with ‘CHEER’ written on the bottom. And she’ll recognise the soft toy. And Amanda’s old bedrooom.

It looks as if there are a few latecomers to the blog, so rather tediously I have to re-visit old news.

Amanda Todd wasn’t on her own

aandb

biancaandamanda2

As the Coban trial continues, it gets more shocking. Apparently he had 204,000 porn pics on his hard drive, he was in trouble with the Grijze Wolven. As most of it is in Dutch it’s a pain to work out the details. Add in the thing about 7 gay Australians and it starts getting too weird.

Meanwhile I’ve reissued these pics from the catalogue. The clip is actually far worse than this can show and makes the BlogTV episode look mild. It’s really this clip that puzzles me most as it’s so far away from the ‘it was a brief flash’ storyline and involves another kid who was very much part of Amanda’s scene but never gets a mention.

Because of this clip, Amanda’s BlogTV shows and so on, it’s tough to match the current narrative of one action followed by years of torment.

Just in case anyone thinks this isn’t Amanda, then OK, you’re entitled to that. Just ask Carol Todd though – she’ll remember that Amanda had a pair of trousers (or ‘pants’ as they are called in the USA) with ‘CHEER’ written on the bottom. And she’ll recognise the soft toy. And Amanda’s old bedrooom.

It looks as if there are a few latecomers to the blog, so rather tediously I have to re-visit old news.

Girls will be girls

During this blog, it’s difficult to really know if I have either had my eyes opened to a lot of things, or if, truth be told, I have simply had a lot of stuff confirmed.

The fairy-dairy-land part of my brain says that all girls are made of sugar and spice and all things nice, but the more rational part knows that is all tosh. I have been startled not by the presence of imaginary predators, nor by the overblown threat of pantomime pedophiles, but by the massive influence of the total terror of teenage females.

From Emily Berrington, a succinct description:

”Teenage girls are just the most evil geniuses. If a teenage girl sets against you, your life is over. And that happened to me a lot.”

http://www.tvguide.co.uk/story/3/50911/emily-berrington-was-bullied

I expect the lovely Feminists will say that Emily Berrington is actually a man. Or that she has been brainwashed. Or that teenage girls are forced to be evil by a paternalistic patriarchy. Personally, I think it’s all to do with the lizard creatures that run the New World Order, which is far closer to being a reasonable hypothesis than any Feminist putrid polemics.

Talking of teenage evil geniuses, I have been pondering how to bow out of this blog: with a bang or a whimper? So tomorrow I will investigate Bianca Nitoi’s Formspring, which is here:

http://new.spring.me/#!/user/Biancanitoi/timeline/responses

with the intriguing question: ‘how could you do that to amanda i thought you were her friend.

Anyone interested enough can go through the names listed here:

http://new.spring.me/#!/user/Biancanitoi/following

Good Lord! Look at the ages of some of these girls. This list is like the roll call of bullying subterfuge.

http://new.spring.me/#!/user/AmandaTodd/timeline/responses

All the names are there: Celine, Sam, Celia…….

Have a nice day!

Invincible Amanda

kill-1-5-Kiryuin-Satsuki

Fear is freedom! Subjugation is liberation! Contradiction is truth! Those are the facts of this world! And you will all surrender to them, you pigs in human clothing!

amanda todd?

DONT EVEN SAY THAT NAME. shes nasty greassy and she has no life so she stays on the computer all day finding fake guys to date in toronto ! 🙂

wow it looks like amanda todd likes hate! She knows lots of people hate her so first of all why would she get online? obviously to get attention second of all if she likes being online i suggest to her to make it private. *cough* attention seeker 😉

The above quotes don’t come from enemies of Amanda. They come from her best friends. In 201o and 2011.

Occasionally there comes a moment when things fall into place, and I kick myself for not seeing what was so obvious.

All through this story, it has played on my mind. Why didn’t Amanda stop? Why did every threat just seem to roll over her? Why did she seem to be invincible? Why did all the ‘get off or else we will tell people’ fail so miserably? It just didn’t make sense.

So here it is. Amanda was untouchable. She simply could not be threatened or blackmailed. That was why she was so brazen. When she first encountered Tyler Boo she was all ‘so what’. She was solid as a rock. Cast iron.

I now know that all of Amanda’s friends knew what she was up to long before everyone else did. Amanda did all she did openly and freely. She publicised it on Facebook and on BlogTV and everywhere else you could think of. She simply didn’t care, and nobody in her peer group cared much either. The only people raising a hullaballoo were the adults, and when the cops came, in her own words it was ‘no big deal’.

She was in control of the whole shebang. Up until lately, I couldn’t work out why she continued to go online after the cops came if she was so worried  about stalkers, predators, pedophiles or keeping her reputation intact. It’s simple – she wasn’t.

The cops arrive December 2010, she’s still at it three weeks later. No worries. Weeks later, and she’s being called ‘glowsticks’ by all the people who know her – her best friends included. This is all over Facebook, all over Amanda’s social media.

So we have this situation. The knowledge of her video has escaped but only the adults, as usual, are getting their knickers in a twist. It’s made virtually no impact on Amanda’s personal world whatsoever. If anything, it’s made her able to provide even more drama, to be even more the centre of attention. She’s not been grounded, she’s not had her laptop or phone confiscated.

Full of confidence, she continues on to the ‘glowsticks’ event. It wasn’t the revelation of the ‘photo’ that did her in – it was the fact that she went too far and became a social pariah.

However, it’s the fact that everyone knows that makes her so invulnerable – quite the opposite of what I first thought. She can be arrogant. How can anyone tell her to stop, using the threat of telling everybody, when everybody already knows?

It’s a fantastic situation to be in. ‘I’ll tell on you!’ ‘Go ahead’. If the dumb cops can’t stop her, if the even dumber parents aren’t going to stop her, she can flash her minge with glowsticks until the cows come home. It truly is incredible.

Not until the complaints arrive in November of 2011 does she eventually cave in. But what is extraordinary is that even then, when she has to cut off all her old accounts and close everything down, she is back within a week trying to get her twitter following back up again.

So what about these predators, stalkers and pedophiles?

Take if from me. They never existed. They never existed.

We’ve already established that all of Amanda’s friends knew. We know that Bianca Nitoi initiated the campaign to spread the news, aided and abetted by the all-too-eager sponsorship of Shylah and the rest.

Amanda would have had a big fan base. We now know that Bianca Nitoi, Tess Anderson, Celia Hutikka, Celine Haire, Shylah Watson, Amanda and others were on BlogTV. By late December 2010, Amanda was an old hand at online exhibitionism. From 2010 to 2011 there wouldn’t have been a teen in the whole of the Vancouver area who didn’t know. And she would have been famous in the Capper community – not quite as famous as Lauren or Charmander, Verica or even Peyton, but famous enough.

In December, things reached a peak. With so many people knowing about it, and with Bianca and company blabbing so much about it, and not forgetting the mention in the Daily Capper, things became inevitable. Parents contacted the police, someone contacted the Todds, that was it. It wasn’t the act of some evildoer – far from it.

Think about it. Amanda said it was no big deal. She and Shylah were back planning another display three weeks later. Why would a blackmailing predator release the video link to everyone and then have nothing left to blackmail with? The note about blackmail – sent to Carol Todd shortly after the cops arrive – was a warning about Amanda being at risk. Why would a young girl, petrified by a blackmailer, be back in business three weeks later?

Amanda, Shylah, Celia, Celine, Tess and Bianca would have encountered all manner of perverts and predators – no doubt about it. You can’t display to a room of 150+ people without some of them being the worst types. And it is more than possible that one of these – heck, even several – would have capped it all. But Amanda was at home in this environment. You can tell that from her chatlogs. She knows she’s being watched by a ton of guys. Good grief, some of them even tell her not to flash because she will get a ban. There’s no coercion, threat, flattery – she does it all of her own free will.

All of Amanda’s friends knew their way around social media. Holey moley, you can see from the quote at the beginning that one of her school friends says she’s mad not to keep all her actions private. They would all have evidence of Amanda’s shenanigans on their phones or laptops. That’s why the parents eventually found out and reported it to the police.

And also think. If this predator shit was true, e.g. the ‘photo’ was sent out by one person to everybody, there would be one name, one ip address, one easily traceable identity. It’s simply not true.

So where does that leave us after December 2010? Any traces of a predator? Nope.

Let’s get this straight. Amanda was not in the miracle world of Moshlings and My Little Pony. She was not in Unicorn-Fairy-Dairy land. She was in Cesspit Central. And she knew it. Get this absolutely into your head – she was in control of what she did. She was getting negative feedback from some of her peers; she was getting negative feedback from her parents; she was even getting negative feedback from the police. But she fed off it. ‘wow it looks like amanda todd likes hate!’.

Yet three weeks later we see her and Shylah as the dreadful duo ‘Mandaa&Shyy’, several weeks later she’s known as Glowsticks and several months later the RCMP are sending emails to Norm and Carol desperately warning them to get Amanda offline and telling them Amanda has produced new material.

Yes, she will have encountered all of the characters that inhabit the Hell that is Teen Chatroom World. But none of them would have bothered her. She might have encountered blackmailers a ton of times. She would have been aware that she was getting capped, as the police visit in 2010 would have made that quite clear. But get this – she was broadcasting HERSELF, hence the fact she ended up with the Glowsticks nickname. So it wouldn’t mean anything. ‘If you don’t give me a show, I’ll release that video of you wanking’. ‘Oh, you mean the one I put on my Facebook page last week?’. Tyler Boo? No threat at all. She had encountered it all before, that’s why she is so cool when she encounters him. Austin Collins? Releasing a tit pic that everyone else had already seen, and that most of her peers would have been bored with. What a joke.

I will say this one last time: there never was the one person who coerced and flattered Amanda to get her kit off; there never was one person who sent her picture out to half the teens in British Columbia. She would have had a ton of potential stalkers, a ton of potential blackmailers, a ton of pedophile encounters. But this idea that it got to her in any way whatsoever is completely false. Just stop to think for one minute. The cops were supposedly on the case from December 2010 onwards. If they had found the slightest hint of a planned blackmail campaign, they certainly wouldn’t have sent the email in the way they did. Don’t you think it extraordinary that the email to the Todds was all about trying to get Amanda offline? If they had suspected pedophile grooming activity, they would have dealt with it.

OK. Now take another pause to think. All my doubters out there will be saying ‘But what about Kody Maxson?’. Those that get past the Kody Maxson insanity will then say ‘But what about Aydin Coban?’.

I will be as brief as possible. The Kody Maxson story was pure and unadulterated 4Chan/Anonymous bullshit. I really don’t need to say any more about that.

As for the Aydin Coban debacle? The police are screwed. They would desperately, desperately like to have the case closed, but how can they write a report that says, basically, that Amanda was an out-of-control camwhore? How can they write a report that says Amanda built up a massive amount of hatred, and that eventually the chickens came home to roost? The myth of a stalker/blackmailer/predator so quickly became rooted in the mind of the public that they could not possibly contradict it. Amanda’s September video was a masterpiece of misguidance.

So…..some idiot in Holland gets arrested, the even more idiotic Dutch Press says that this guy is linked to Amanda and there you have it. The perfect solution. The RCMP know that the guy will never be extradited, so they might as well charge him with every unsolved crime they have on the books. If he gets away with it, they can just blame the Dutch for incompetence. If he gets done for whatever it is he is meant to have done, the RCMP can say that justice has been done, and that even if there was no mention of Amanda Todd, we all know he did it, don’t we?

Well, it’s been another long post. Tomorrow I’ll pick some decent quotes from the annals of Amanda (including the ‘you’re going to get done tomorrow’ threat that I guess came before the fight). Will I bother to show the glow stick pics? Can I be bothered to show the glow stick pics? We’ll see.

I leave you with a quote from Invincible Amanda:

“I am Amanda Todd, haters make me stronger. They can waste there time on hating, but I really don’t care, I care about the good things. Im a good person inside, but if people don’t have the guts to give me a chance, then there not worth it. God Bless:) <3”

We’ve seen the begging letter from Amanda to her mom. This might have been addressed specifically to her. Good old Carol!

By the way. Cross-referencing more than 10,ooo pieces of information is kind of exhausting. But reader, you’re worth it!

 

Taylor Gresham

It’s been a strenuous few days as I have been mining the latest data that I have.

This blog will only now appeal to a tiny minority of readers. The reason I have chosen to display the Taylor Gresham video is to show to those in Canada just how deeply I have researched. The Taylor Gresham story was virtually unknown outside of the Pitt Meadows region and therefore only a handful of people will know about it. The fact that I have brought it into the story will serve to show the minute details I discover.

Does it have any relevance? Look at the dates of the video. December 2010. And the age.

I am currently trying to work out what was going on, and just how much was known at the time. The ‘glowsticks’ episode completely threw me. I have racked my brain about what it refers to, and I have come to the temporary conclusion that it was at the end of the infamous ‘twerking’ video. What shocks me is that all of Amanda’s friends were aware of it, and I can’t quite get my head round that. However, the pieces of this enormous jigsaw are gradually beginning to fit. I need to work on finding a specific date for the ‘glowsticks’ video, but I suspect that it was in the early part of 2011.

The next question I have to ask myself is just how much was known outside of the school circles. On one hand, it is easy to understand that parents might have been totally oblivious. The kids aren’t going to go home and say ‘Hey, do you know what Amanda Todd is up to now?’. But on the other hand, it is almost impossible to believe that Norm and Carol didn’t have some inkling, especially when the police had arrived at the end of the previous year, and especially when Amanda’s activities seem to have spanned such a long time.

From the data I have, it would appear that Amanda was in a total mess, so much so that I find it difficult to comprehend and even more difficult to try to describe. A lot of people will go through their lives and experience moments of utter confusion and panic. We all know stories of people who get into debt, or drink too much, or whatever. Things are under control, then suddenly it gets all out of hand. If people are lucky, they can either get themselves out of the mess or friends and family come to the rescue. Amanda was in a hole that, to a certain extent, she had dug herself into. When she called for help – remember the begging letter to mom, asking for forgiveness? – all she got was more rejection.

Amanda seemed to absolutely manifest trouble wherever she went. She was addicted to the webcam. Part of the definition of an addiction is that you keep on needing more and more to get the same result. Amanda went on webcam from maybe as early as 2009, started off innocently enough, made the juvenile error of deciding to expose herself, but didn’t know when to stop. She received a certain amount of disapproval from her peers, but everyone knows – if one set of people disapproves, there will always be another who will back you up, like the Tessa Andersons, the Biancas, the Celias and the Shylahs.

The warning from the police in December 2010 wasn’t enough. We know that Amanda considered it no big deal and, to a certain extent, none of her friends were particularly bothered. Life on BlogTV, Stickam, Skype, YouTube and Facebook was like that. So Amanda simply continued.

However, she didn’t realise that there were two crucial factors at work.

At school, she was simply getting on people’s nerves. There had always been a few who disapproved, but mostly Amanda was just a good source of playground gossip. If she had stopped doing what she was doing around December 2010, it would have all blown over. Or even if she had continued with the occasional flash, the novelty would have worn off and she would have disappeared into obscurity. But, Amanda being Amanda, she just pushed it too far. It’s like this. Do whatever you do, and a certain percentage of your peers will disapprove, and another percentage will think you’re cool. Think smoking weed, drinking. Let’s say that at the beginning, Amanda was maybe in a 50/50 position – for every person who thought she was cool, there was another who thought she was not. For every person who loved her, there was one who hated her. A decent balance.

But when she pushed it too far, the balance swung against her. BlogTV appearances that were once considered no big deal became a huge deal. The ‘glowsticks’ episode was one step beyond. Amanda’s approval ratings vanished. Amongst those who at one time supported her, she was a liability. Cool kids want to be with cool kids, not social pariahs.

And the second crucial factor? Amanda didn’t fall out with her haters. That is what is a revelation to me (OK, it should have been obvious, but everything is obvious with hindsight) . I had assumed that there was a prolonged campaign against Amanda from people who hated her, yet I was wrong in so many ways.

The people who attacked Amanda were her old friends. A story as old as time. Nothing can be as venomous as the feelings that ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends have for their old partners in an acrimonious split. Nothing can be as vindictive and spiteful as the break between people who were once friends, and the closer the friendship was, the deeper the animosity.

There was no flipping stalker, predator, pervert pedophile involved in all of this. The Capper world had a part to play, but it was small compared to the part played by those closest to Amanda. Just think for a minute.

Those people who got to Amanda knew every intimate detail. They were posting on her Facebook pages, messaging her. They knew all of her friends, her every movement. They even knew what she got up to at ‘Value Village’. Sure, a hardened stalker might make the huge efforts to find out everything, but the extent to which people knew Amanda is too great, even given Amanda’s propensity to blab it all out online. It was her friends.

I’m not sure in what order to publish the next posts, but three are in the pipeline. These will be an explanation of the complete ABSENCE of any sinister predator; a series of ‘before and after’ quotes from Amanda’s best friends (before the glowsticks video ‘xxx <3333’, after the glowsticks video ‘greasy whore’ and threats); and comparisons with the Aurora Eller story (that will go down a treat with Norm!).

And you will notice that I’ve changed the blog title. That is done for two reasons. Firstly, I think I have got as close to the true story as I am ever going to get. Secondly, it’s a provocative, attention-seeking act designed purely to evoke some sort of response.

The Todd Squad have watched as I have wound myself up into knots trying to get to the bottom of all this. From time to time I’ve got dates, sequences and locations wrong, and they have revelled in it. But they have also torn their hair out when I find chatlogs, RCMP emails and Tyler Boo comments. Not for nothing did they come up with the petition – that was a desperate measure. But this new goldmine has opened up a new stream of information. And it’s not nice.

Glowsticks

quote-despair-is-the-conclusion-of-fools-benjamin-disraeli-51481

OK, so where do we go from here?

I have recently come across some new data that has, for want of a better phrase, almost completely blown my mind. I am trying to piece it all together to come up with a coherent and accurate appraisal of it.

I am troubled by thoughts of Aurora Eller because it is the closest comparison I can make. However, there is a kind of innate desire NOT to go down that path because it is upsetting. I am torn between an urge to just leave this all alone and go on a retreat and detox my brain, and the urge to continue and get to some final conclusion.

At this point I have to confess – I simply don’t understand what went on, and I feel way out of my depth.

So what is my latest news? Almost without shadow of a doubt, there never were any predators, stalkers or pedophiles involved in the demise of Amanda Todd. Amanda and her false friends were entirely to blame for it all. If you look closely at the story it all fits. What makes it so difficult to comprehend is what followed after the Amanda story explosion, and just who was involved in perpetuating the whole myth, and why. People – the Press and police included – have a lot to answer for.

I will not tell you what to believe. Personally, I find my own words unbelievable, so I would not expect anyone to accept them. But as usual we have to look at the real evidence in front of us. Ask yourselves a few questions.

Just why were the police so quick to dismiss the Kody Maxson story? Apart from it being total bilge, they already knew what was going on. And why did they write the letter to Carol and Norm that so clearly stated that Amanda was producing her own material and that she should be prevented from access to the Internet?

Why was the reaction from those people who knew Amanda so vitriolic? The onslaught of accusations was mind-boggling. What on earth created such an atmosphere of absolute hatred?

Anyway. I now have an insight into Amanda’s history that was previously missing, and it has provided some shocks. In the previous post, I asked a question about Amanda and her use of glowsticks. Of course, the correct answer was c.

I will try to be brief. Amanda’s behaviour throughout 2010 was, to most people, off the scale bizarre. Yet it seems that amongst the company she kept, it was well and widely known, and not seen to be anything much more than the source of gossip.

It would appear that the use of webcam, Skype, BlogTV, YouTube and Facebook was far more common than I thought. They were all at it. However, there was a small coterie who went to extremes, and in this coterie it was Amanda who took it furthest.

I will temporarily hold back on the names in the gang. I have already mentioned them. There were three or four hardcore members, with maybe a dozen more active ones. I have learned the name of a new school – Kwayquithlum Middle School – where a lot of the activity took place but as people are aware, networks extended over a wide area – from Pitt Rivers, across most of Vancouver, and beyond – but it was mostly centred on the infamous PoCo.

The gang of girls was pretty vicious when it wanted to be. One minute you could be the darling of the group, next minute you could be the target of extreme hate. I have seen Amanda’s best friends turn from comments like ‘she’s great’ to ‘she’s a whore’. I have traced comments from a boyfriend that turn from love to hate in the blink of an eye. And, of course, there was the glowsticks nickname campaign.

So what happened? Amanda throughout 2010 had built up a huge reputation. All of her peers knew what she was doing, but it remained talked of only within the school networks. Some were disparaging, but the vast majority just looked upon it as a joke. ‘What do you think of when I say ‘glowsticks’?’ ‘Amanda Todd’……’If I say ‘glowsticks’ what’s the first thing that comes to mind?’ ‘Amanda Todd’……and it culminated in this:

‘why is everyone saying “glowsticks” when they say amanda todd?..’

‘because she masturbates with them :/”

or

‘just tell her…I ain’t the one fucking with a glowstick’.

Something intriguing to note. The above quotes didn’t come from Amanda’s enemies. The first one came from Tess Anderson, the girl who turned up at Amanda’s funeral, the girl who appeared in the Fifth Estate documentary, the girl who was reputedly high on Amanda’s best friend list.

Here is the source of info on Tessa: http://new.spring.me/#!/user/AndersonTessa/timeline/responses

The second quote comes from someone even more close, but I have yet to ascertain just who this person is, so no names will be mentioned yet. Later on this week I will be revealing more of the horrendous comments that came from Amanda’s best friends – the same friends who queued up to grieve. Oh – and these comments were made by 12-14 year olds.

At some point, Amanda broke the rules of school morality by going out with a boy who one of the other girls in the group fancied for herself. In what was probably just a rash act, one of the gang – perhaps all of them – blew the BlogTV appearances out into the open as a pure act of revenge. There was no predator, no stalker, no blackmail – the betrayal came from those closest to Amanda.

I have a quote from around that time: ‘why did you do that to amanda?’. In fact, that question was asked more than once. And it was all down to a boy. And the culprit? Yet again, one of Amanda’s best buddies.

Just stop to think. The easy answers are the ones that are truest. The only people who would have such easy access to all of Amanda’s details – Facebook friends, school friends, family information – the only ones who would have such intimate details of her whereabouts and her actions (think ‘Value Village) were those closest to her. And the kind of unfettered rage and vindictiveness that necessitates the total destruction of someone else’s reputation tends not to come from haters, but from people who were once best friends. Hell hath no fury like a teen girl who feels betrayed.

I will continue tomorrow.

The true story of Amanda Todd

sorrow

I feel I am now at the point where I can deal with the Amanda Todd story properly.

It’s been a long haul, for this has been a truly complex story. Red herrings, deceit, hysteria have all clouded the issue, but at the end of the day the history of it all was as old as the hills – young person makes a ton of mistakes, falls in with a bad crowd, goes out of control, and by the time people come to terms with it, it’s all too late.

Emergency signs that should have been noted as far back as when she was nine years old were ignored simply because, at the time, they would have only been seen as emergency signs by the most pessimistic and world-weary type of person. Who would have known that a child singing ‘Oh Canada’ on webcam would have led not to fame and fortune as a recording star, but to an addiction to online attention that would eventually prove fatal?

And yet huge warnings went ignored. There was a point at which – somewhere around 2010 – all the alarm bells were ringing out loud but for some reason, which I will try to explain as the story unfolds, they were overlooked.

There are children who go to a building site and, despite ‘Keep Out’ and ‘Danger’ signs, have an adventure that results in no harm or just a few scraped knees. And who is to say that this is not part of growing up?

For Amanda, to a certain extent, the world of the Internet was her dangerous building site adventure. Except instead of coming through it with a scraped knee, she was fatally injured.

Of course, other factors made it worse. Amanda didn’t have to go far to enter into danger but, perhaps even more soul-destroyingly, the idiocy of adults around her facilitated it all. And it would appear that Amanda was far more of a risk-taker than others.

When I was young, I was always the one who pushed it too far. Why be a wimp and have a sneaky sip of illicit alcohol when you can neck an entire bottle? Why have a secret cigarette in the school toilets when you can smoke twenty a day in broad daylight? And wasn’t it quite an image to be the one who had a record amount of school detention and suspension? There’s nothing like a reputation to make one’s self-esteem rocket.

And it would appear that Amanda was like that – the one who never quite cottoned on to when enough is enough. And, of course, she never had anyone telling her that there were limits, and she had friends who encouraged it.

Over the next few days, I will endeavour to write the full TRUE story of Amanda’s life. In a way, it’s actually quite simple now. What I find most gut-wrenching is that, with the benefit of hindsight, it all now looks so obvious. And I’m guessing that it’s not particularly unique.

The reader who has stayed with the story for so long (are there any left?) will still ask why I do all this, and I will seek to explain.

The Amanda Todd story is powerful, yet it has been wasted because the true lessons haven’t been learned. To say that cyberbullying caused it is the same as saying that me getting drunk and driving myself over a cliff is the fault of the car manufacturer. To seek to blame predators, stalkers and pedophiles is like shooting a lion in a zoo because it bites the child that has been allowed to climb the barricades and squeeze through the bars.

But I sincerely believe, or perhaps hope is a better word, that it will, in some way, provide closure. The story that will unfold over the next few days will, I think, be the most accurate and thoroughly researched account that is ever likely to exist. In a slightly bizarre way, it will be like an open letter to Carol Todd and her family.

I have yet to formulate in my mind the full approach. I am tempted to name names, but I’m not sure if that is necessary. I will try to be as succinct as possible (something most readers will know that I find difficult). The Todd people always challenge me to show evidence, but they should by now be aware that the evidence I provide is – to be honest – quite astonishing, even though I say that myself.

Carol Todd talks of things like restorative justice. I can see her reasoning. I am working in the dark when trying to contemplate reactions to what I write. I can only imagine that the names mentioned in the previous post will have caused some consternation, and will have been greeted with howls of derision. But comments are always welcome.

At the end of the week I will have presented Carol Todd with the whole story. It might not be what she wanted to hear, or she might actually know it already. All I can say is – hand on heart – this is my best attempt to finally unravel the whole conundrum, and to finally present the completed jigsaw puzzle. The full tragic history will, I think, finally be told. Whether it makes a difference or not, I don’t really care any more. Maybe, if we examine all this, it will be more closure for me than for anyone else. But maybe someone will learn something. Who knows?

btw – just in case people are thinking I’m off track, let’s just say I know what happened at Kway. And what is the answer to this little riddle?

What did Amanda do with glowsticks, and why did it become her nickname? Was it:

a) Use them to illuminate her way home on a dark night

b) Wave them around in the air at the local rave

c) Masturbate with them in her online shows?

Most people will guess the answer, which comes courtesy of Tess Anderson. I will supply the correct response in my next post. No prizes will be given. And yes, it is weird.